Running With Wireless Mice

Leo's New Friend

2009-05-25T16:23:00.007-04:00

Quick one today with it being Memorial Day and all... Here's a sketch of Leonardo holding a rat. It's not Splinter but maybe a distant cousin? The body was drawn with regular pencil and then darkened in Photoshop to give a bit more drama to it. The background is also a product of Photoshop. Graphic pen and half-tone filters can really do the trick on occasion.

Hungry Likes the Wolves

2009-05-21T09:41:00.018-04:00

A few weeks ago a friend of mine sent me a link to an amazon.com product. He told me it would be one of the funniest things I had ever seen. He’s usually wrong. His taste in humor follows that of a Bollywood film. Pretty lame. However, this time I was pleasantly surprised. It really was one of the funnier things I’ve seen in awhile. The product itself isn’t that funny, a t-shirt that you could probably find at any gun show. It’s more the accessories that come with it on the website. Without further ado I give you Three Wolves T-shirt.

First, the products customers have purchased just scream, “Cool people only.” Imagine seeing someone wearing this shirt, a pair of Zubaz pants and reading on how to cope with having an enormous penis. It just has “winner” plastered across their forehead.

Next are the tags, what customers feel this product is associated with. I really wish I snagged a screen capture of this earlier. At the time Necriphillia was a tag, and that’s just awesome. Since it’s been removed I guess we’ll just have to settle for sasquatch, sexytime and rape instead. Darn.

By now you’re probably saying, “But Matt, these aren’t funny. It’s actually kind of pathetic.” And you would be right. It is quite sad, but this is where it gets good. This has got to be one of the funniest reviews ever written about any one product EVER. It’s like Bill Shakespeare himself critiqued this shirt and told us mortal beings would it was like to own and wear this shirt.

Here's what it says:
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him. I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt. Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

As Promised

2009-05-08T09:52:00.003-04:00

So this was supposed to be a Nick Markakis shirt. He's only one of the best players in the American League, plus he's on my Fantasy Baseball team. It wouldn't be so bad to wear that shirt, right? He's still a dirty birdie but it's not his fault. They drafted him. However, this is not a Nick Markakis shirt. In fact there are NO Markakis shirts in the entire Albany area. I asked a couple of shop owners if they had any to which the reply was, "Who? All we got are those Ripken shirts." Really? You run a sports store and you don't know who Nick Markakis is? It's not like Baltimore is on the other side of the world. It's a five and a half hour car ride. A 45 minute plane ride. So I held out for awhile thinking a Markakis shirt would spring from the soil after a good soaking rain. No, that didn't happen. So now I own a Cal Ripken Jr. shirt. It's not that it's a bad thing, Cal is awesome in every way imaginable. He makes bald work, not many white guys can pull that off. But, he doesn't play anymore and people who know absolutely nothing about baseball would wear a Ripken shirt because he was "cool" and an "Iron Man." See, if I was wearing a Markakis shirt people would say, "Wow, this cat must know his baseball because I have no f'ing clue who that is, but I could sure go for a slice of Angelfood cake right now."

Some More "Turtle Power"

2009-04-21T08:03:00.005-04:00

So I've been in this little groove right now of wanting to start drawing again. It's a wave I'll ride in for a little while before I get distracted with something else. Last night was another one of those nights where I felt like sketching but didn't know what to sketch. The Ninja Turtles were the theme this past weekend, mine as well carry it through into the week right? Below is Raphael screaming and what looks like something violent. At what, I have no idea. Maybe a Triceraton just off the page? Either way, he looks pissed. There are a couple changes that need to be made... mostly in his right fist. It just seems too small compared to the other one. His sai needs a little revamping too, it doesn't look too symmetrical does it?

Raphael showing some aggression.

Heroes in the Half Shell

2009-04-18T16:27:00.005-04:00

Quick one today... Recently I've been inspired to sketch again. Not my own characters though. Other people's characters... much cooler than my own. Growing up I was a HUGE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan (TMNT for you squares). First I was into the cartoon from the late 1980's then a few years later I was more of the comic book fan. Not those Archie comics though, the original Mirage Volume I comics. The real rough 'n' tumble Ninja Turtles. The Ninja Turtles that were dark, dangerous and weren't afraid to kill. Below are a few drawings I did last night.

Donatello facing off against a very dangerous Leatherhead in the sewers

Leonardo and some sort of ninja star

Raphael spinning his sais

That's all for today! Cheers.

Bitch is Back!

2009-04-14T12:36:00.003-04:00

No, Kirstie Alley hasn't returned for more Jenny Craig commerials. Something much more fantastical has happened. It's official, Lent is over. Elton John has been gracing his musical genius everywhere I go since very early Easter Sunday morning. He was with me in the car during our early morning barhopping. He was with me as I ran off a hangover at the gym. He was even with me all nine hours at work on Monday. The world has returned to it's rightful axis and global warming has ceased to exist. Yes, it's that good. Infact it's so good that I haven't had time to inform all you wonderful readers of my successful Lent until now, a Tuesday, two days after it ended.

Sure, I had my share of weakness. That time when I almost broke down in tears during the much applauded "Almost Famous" scene when they got on the bus and sang out to the masses the tremendous "Tiny Dancer." Or the other time when the MSG Network decided to air one of his live performances in High Definition. It was a dark, lonely time in my life. My stress levels went up, my surliness was through the roof, and at one point I killed a woman with my bare hands. Punched her square in the neck. She deserved it, but I digress.

In retrospect, even though Lent was successful, I don't recommend doing something this difficult especially during a very stressful time at work. Next year if I do decide to partake in the phenomenon known as Lent I'll do something a bit less taxing. Perhaps giving up wearing silly hats, or restricting my diet to only carbohydrates and diary.

I'm a Weiner!

2009-04-07T10:53:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was Opening Day for Major League Baseball. It's an exciting time with a certain electricity in the air. It's the first sign that summer can't be too far off. On Opening Day all teams are equal, even the teams that are predicted to be piss poor.

Growing up a New York Yankees fan I lived through the slim years of the 1980's and the dynasty years of the 1990's. Now, in present day, the Yankees have turned into some sort of traveling freak show. An All-star at every position (with the exception of center field) would seem to be the perfect way to bring about another World Series ring to the Bronx. With all of these all-star caliber players comes a sense of entitlement. Yankees fans deserve to see them win everyday. And why not? We're the best of the best, right? Other teams should just get out of the way, they shouldn't even bother playing. With that sense of entitlement comes cockiness and arrogance. I'll admit, it even gets the best of me sometimes. In fact it got the better of me yesterday. A bet was made between my friend Chad, a Marylander and delirious Baltimore Orioles fan. He asked me who would win Opening Day between the Yankees and the Orioles. I scoffed at him. I laughed like an arrogant prick. "The Yankees!" I pronounced. "Not even a chance the O's win," I declared. In fact I was so confident that my team would beat the living tar out of the opposition I agreed to a friendly wager with my fellow baseball friend. If the Orioles lose, Chad would have to wear a New York Yankees shirt to work. An embarrassing moment for him indeed. A lifelong birds fan having to wear a shirt with the logo of the team that has made his team a mockery since the 1996 American League Championship. It would be sweet victory for me indeed. Of course the latter would be the same with me. If the Orioles won on Opening Day, I would have to wear a dirty birdy O's shirt to my place of business. A wasp's nest of Yankees and Mets and Red Sox fans alike. Baseball is a way of life at my job. There isn't a day that goes by, even in the offseason, that someone isn't discussing New York or Massachusetts baseball. For me to wear this shirt would be nothing short of sac religious. But why should I worry? The mighty Yankees would crush the feeble Orioles. Not even a lingering thought of loss crossed my mind. The new ace of the staff, CC Sabathia would be taking the mound. He's as much of a shoe-in for a win than almost anyone else in the league. This bet would surely be mine.

Then something funny happened. Something almost sadly ironic. The Yankees weren't winning. In fact they looked flat out bad. The game was going horribly wrong. CC Sabathia was getting shelled in his maiden voyage with his new team. He didn't make it out of the fifth inning and he had already given up six runs. My head started to swirl! "This can't be happening!" I thought to myself. "How can they be sucking so badly? It's like they've been drugged! Yeah, yeah, that's it. The Orioles somehow poisoned the Yankees' water supply and that's why they're playing lackadaisical." Good thing I was being rational about this.

Nine innings and three hours and 15 minutes later it was over. The Yankees had been blown out 10-5 in Opening Day. The unthinkable had happened, the best team in baseball on paper had lost the first game of the season. A Baltimore Orioles shirt will now be gracing it's presence on my slightly humbled body. Stay tuned next week for a photo of me in said shirt on this very blog.

In the end, it's just one game but it brings you back a little. But not enough for me to stop declaring that the Yankees will have a 161-1 record this year and bring home another World Series title!! Suck on that you stupid Birds!

Running on iPod

2009-03-30T22:23:00.004-04:00

Lately, a buddy of mine got me into running. By trade, I'm not a runner. I'm a cycler, but man is it catchy. Am I good at it? No not really. My range is usually between 3.1-5.5 miles at around 6.0 miles an hour. There aren't exactly land speed records being broken, but considering a year ago anything over a mile was an accomplishment. It's funny how muscles work. Last July I rode 77 miles from Albany to Herkimer (an upward 77 miles) but I couldn't run a mile.

Last week, a few friends and I have decided to run in the "Timothy Moshier Memorial 5k Run" this May. In order to train for this I made a playlist on my iPod. It's really not training since I can consistently run 5k, but I guess it's more for not embarrassing myself. Here's the playlist...

1) Bastian's Happy Flight/Giorgio Moroder*
2) In My Life/The Beatles**
3) Wake Up/Arcade Fire
4) Back on the Chain Gang/The Pretenders
5) Hold on Tight/Electric Light Orchestra
6) When You Were Young/The Killers
7) Roll Me Away/Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
8) Holding Out for a Hero/Bonnie Tyler
9) Danger Zone/Kenny Loggins
10) C'mon C'mon/The Von Bondies
11) Out in the Streets/Bruce Springsteen
12) How Far We've Come/Matchbox 20
13) Keep the Car Running/Arcade Fire
14) Don't Stop Me Now/Queen
15) Stone in Love/Journey
16) Miami 2017/Billy Joel
17) Heat of the Moment/Asia
18) Runaway/Bon Jovi

*Ok, so what. It's from The Never Ending Story... it's a good warm-up song.
** Not exactly a running song, but it's a quick two and a half and it's one of the greatest songs ever.

If anyone has any suggestions let me know. I'm always looking at adding new music.

Buffalo's Marble Gardens

2009-03-27T22:11:00.004-04:00

It's been a hectic week. All you blog readers out there know that I just came back from Tampa last Monday evening. Unfortunately a week later I found myself in Buffalo for two and a half days on business. Calm down, all you naysayers out there who think I'm saying Buffalo is a hole. It's not, but may I recommend something? When you enter into the city of Buffalo the first thing you are greeted with should NOT be a sprawling cemetery. I'm a huge fan of cemeteries. It's a great place to reflect on your local history and family origins, but for the traveler (like myself) it doesn't really seethe welcomeness. It's like the city is screaming, "Come for the wings but stay for your eternal vacation!" I have never seen a city with so many cemeteries. It's like they're around every corner, and not tiny ones either. Massive bone zones. Acre after acre of them. No wonder people in Buffalo are depressed! The city is dwindling, the Bills may move to another country and they're surrounded in death! People have always wondered, "What happened to all those people that lived in Buffalo? Where did they go?" Well, we finally know. They went about six feet below your feet.

Another thing about Buffalo: it's like Syracuse but bigger. Buffalo has a lot of little neat hole in the wall type places that you'd miss if you blinked. Those are the places that give the town a ton of character. Great people, great food, great atmosphere, but they need to give it a good spring cleaning. Man is it dingy. Maybe I caught it at a poor time of year. Seeing a northeastern city in the end of March is like seeing a pretty gal puking into a toilet after a night of binge drinking. It started out great, but throughout the night you could see her start to go downhill. You know in a day or two, after she sobers up she'll like amazing again. Hope springs eternal... especially with some cover-up and a sandblaster.

Some Airport Doodles

2009-03-26T20:24:00.005-04:00

I'm very sorry. In my previous post I left you with a cliffhanger of showing you some sketches I did in the Tampa International Airport. I even went as far as stating I'd show you tomorrow. Please accept my apology, but it's been a long week. Work, work, work it's all I seem to be doing right now. I just got in from Buffalo this afternoon after spending two and a half days there helping to launce our newest sister channel, YNN Buffalo. If you live in the area please check it out. It's rough but they'll get it down soon enough. But thats a different story for a different time, now is time for some quick doodles I did of unsuspecting victims, er.. subjects in the airport.
OK- so when I said they were unsuspecting, that was mostly true. This guy let on that he knew he was being drawn. He looked at me, got up and walked away, but would pace around me from a safe distance a good few minutes after that. The jerk never let me finish him... so it's his own fault he kinda looks like Ed Asner.

Some dude that looked like Phil Jackson was reading a book. He kept getting bothered by his overweight wife.

Another older man that was reading. Soooo many people read in the airport. It has more readers than any library could ever imagine.

This couple were coming back from Mexico. The female was tired and fidgety... she didn't really look like a long-nosed troll.

.........................................................................

Short and sweet tonight... Once everything starts slowing down to normal speed again, I'll be able to post were more regularity. Sounds like my blogging life needs fiber.

Tampa in Photos

2009-03-18T12:41:00.011-04:00

So yesterday I posted about some random thoughts about Tampa and Florida in general. Today we get to look at some pics I took while we were down there. I doubt anyone would be too excited to look at a picture of me at Steinbrenner field so I kindly left those type of images off. And...heeeeerre weee... go.

The Bank of America Plaza in the foreground with a Tampa skyscraper I do not know the name of in the background.

This was about a block of from where we were staying. Just a neat little mural on the side of what would have been an average building. It's all about the little things.

In my previous post I described a building with a seven foot lizard crawling up the side. Just so you didn't think I was full of who-ee, here is that building.

This was down the street from where we stayed. It started out as a very foggy morning but it burned off real quick.

Go for launch! The Discovery Shuttle takes to the skies. It really was quite remarkable watching the flight into outer space.

George M. Steinbrenner Field from the right field foul pole.

Friday night, Vince and I decided to eat here. Stumps, sounds like a place you'd go and pick up a woman without any legs. Great food though, even if their restroom signs were misleading and their waitresses had sideburns.

This dude was down at Channelside making artwork from spray paint. When you really think you've seen it all, a man with 20 cans a paint and a ponytail brings you back down to Earth.

Caution: No Manatees are in this area. It must have been a marketing ploy.

Walking down Channelside, I thought this would make a great shot, everything was on the same vertical plane. Symmetrists unite!

Downtown Tampa from the south

A rather large bird cleaning itself within the Florida aquarium. It certainly had no fear of humans, and neither did it's friend who tried to crap on us from above.

This was a decent aquarium, but not the best. They were definately lacking in many areas. Every species of turtle they had on display I had owned as a pet at one time or another. What does that make more pathetic? Me or the Florida Aquarium?

And just for kicks, me acting like a fully-grown eight-year-old outside the Florida Aquarium sign.

Tune in tomorrow! Sketches from the Tampa Airport.

Ten Random Thoughts About Tampa

2009-03-17T19:19:00.005-04:00

It's been a day since I've returned from the burning core of the sun, er.. I mean Florida, and my experience has been pretty much eaten and digested now. Before I completely forget my time there now would be a good time to reflect on some thoughts I had about the place.

The amount of smokers is staggering. Everywhere you looked was a smoker. The state of New York has pretty made the stick-puffer extinct due to all the tax hikes on a pack of cigs. Not so in Florida. It was an average of 86 degrees there during my visit and I couldn’t believe the amount of people outside smoking in the heat. Like they weren’t hot enough? Maybe it's their only way to repell all the amazing food down there.

How anyone gets a sliver of work done in Tampa is beyond me. Everyday something wonderful is going on. This weekend alone was the SEC Basketball Tournament, St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Ybor City, the Discovery Shuttle launch, Spring Training, and pretty much gorgeous weather everyday of the week. Alcoholism must be rampant down there.

Homeless people abound everywhere! Are they all native homeless people or do they flock from the north in the late fall? If I was a homeless dude from Buffalo, I’d try and hop a boxcar to Florida from November to April. There was one homeless guy that was sleeping in the alcove of an abandoned building on Friday night. That same person was in the same location and sleeping position the next night. Maybe homeless people are more like birds than we think? Migration and nesting? Hmmmm... somebody get Darwin's corpse on the phone.
God is big in Tampa. Real big. It seemed like on almost every corner someone was offering me salvation. Oh, and I’d love to to ask God if he knew the fella outside the St. Pete Times Forum who claims that God doesn’t like sports. I’m sure God would’ve been quite smitten with the SEC Championship. In fact, I can prove he’s a Mississippi State fan. They didn’t have a prayer, and through some divine intervention, they pulled it out.

The sun hurts. The right side of my face is peeling and my right ear is falling apart. It looks like the scene from “The Fly” where appendages start to melt from off Jeff Goldblum's body. My friend wasn’t as lucky as I was though. His skin was already a natural shade of red, but mix that with the potent Florida sun and he’s now a weird shade of purple. One person described him as “filet mignon before it hits the grill.” Yum.

Pinstripes make people appear taller and thinner. Strolling through the mall’s food court on Monday I almost walked clear into Ian Kennedy, a New York Yankees pitcher. He’s a bit shorter than the 6’0” that the Yankees have him listed as, but he appeared to be the full 195 lbs. The kid was jacked and about 5’10”. The television normally adds ten pounds, but clearly that is not the case with pitchers. On a side note, when you see an athlete don’t point at them and say their entire name. It’s embarrassing for all parties involved. Atleast he was nice enough to say “Hey hows it going?” instead of the “You act as retarded as you look,” that I fully deserved.

Driving in Tampa is an experience. In New York you know what you’re getting: fast paced with a good amount of road raged peppered in for some added flavor. In Tampa though it’s quite different. People will stop their cars in a lane and chat to someone else in another lane. For the most part the driver’s are tortoise paced and riding well below the height requirement. And according to state law, directional signs are optional as the telepathy signal was introduced in 2002.

Orange juice? What orange juice? I thought going to Florida meant you’d see orange juice stands and brands plastered everywhere. I walked all around downtown Tampa on Monday morning and saw nothing more than Tropicana Orange Juice (no pulp). If I wanted pulp, and I did, I wouldn’t have been able to find it. Florida should be the best place on Earth to find pulped juice. I was wrong. Cigars? All over. Authentic Cuban cuisine? Absolutely! Enormous flying birds? You betcha. Anything other than Tropicana Orange Juice? Better try that other orange producing state.

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood is so much funnier in Florida. In New York it’s good too, but the sexual undertones are way more provocative in someone else’s state. In your own home when Fred says to Mr. McFeely, “It’s so hot,” or “it fits so loosely,” it’s just a little weird. When you’re in your friend’s home with other people it becomes extraordinarily funny. On a side note there was no reason for us to be watching this show. None, whatsoever.

Artwork is everywhere. On buildings, on benches and even on the road. It really gives the city of Tampa a bit more of a unique feel to it. Sure, every city has a 20 story tall building, but how many can claim to have a seven story lizard painted to the façade? Probably not many.

More to come... I'll post a few photos, along with some sketches I did in the Tampa Airport. All in all it was a great trip. Got to see some friends I rarely get to see and got to enjoy some weather that wouldn't normally be in my city for another three months.

Odds and Ends: Lenten Bicycle Ride

2009-03-07T18:56:00.002-05:00

We've hit the eleventh day of Lent already! Well, not already. It's been a slow painful process, much like the death of Braveheart. I figured giving up Elton John music would be tough but I really feel like I'm having withdrawal from an illegal substance. Yesterday "Daniel" came on the radio and my reaction was a content sigh. I timed it out to ten seconds on my wristwatch and then changed the radio channel. From the opening notes I think all that made into the allotted time was "Daniel was trav..." I'm pathetic I know, it's a well known fact. What's even more pathetic is I've been having people at work ask how I'm holding up, like I just buried a loved one or something. Easter Sunday is going to be magnificent, and not for the religious meaning or the glazed ham. Elton will be cranked up, Nicholas and I will be rocking out and my wife, Megan will be huddled in the corner eating a large bowl of macaroni and cheese. She'll probably hiss at anyone that gets too close to her meal like a lioness munching on the brains of a wildebeest.

And in other news, Spring has kinda-sorta sprung here in Upstate New York. We're in our second day of above average temperatures in the fifties. It should stay in the 50s and upper 40s for most if not all of the week. To kick things off I brought the bicycle down from the garage ceiling hooks and went out for a spin. It didn't last though, like a fool drunk on the weather, I forgot to take my asthma medication before I left. Seven miles later I found myself back in the driveway gasping for air. Way to kick off the season!

Jumping the Shark

2009-03-06T09:56:00.003-05:00

Earlier this week I was running at the gym watching the numerous televisions that were splayed out in front of me. There is usually a wide array of channels to choose from: NBC, CNN, ESPN, VH1 and MSNBC just to name the a few. I generally choose to plop myself in front of the news channels. Being in the news business, I'm always looking for new ways to go about designing elements for my own projects. MSNBC has a nice graphics package so that is one channel I choose to watch a lot of. It's also one channel I can't stand listening to because of Keith Olbermann and his flaming torches of Republican hatred. This is why the gym is so valuable, all the TVs are on mute.

This leads me to the clip that I posted above. The Rachel Maddow Show this past Monday had one of the worst guest duos on in recent history. In her "GOP in Exile" segment semi-regular Arianna Huffington was joined on set by "comedian," Hal Sparks. Yes, that Hal Sparks. MSNBC couldn't get anyone else? Was Carrot Top busy pumping iron and getting plastic surgery or something? The worst part about having the former "Talk Soup" host on was that I think he was trying to take himself seriously. It also doesn't help matters when he chooses to look like Lestat (Cruises' character) from "Interview With the Vampire."

Hopefully this isn't a trend. Countdown w/Keith Olbermann had Paul F. Tompkins on earlier in the evening as a guest commentator. Shocker, another wanna be political commentator that thinks they're funny. It's like Best Week Ever on the wrong channel! People need to understand that just because you have a camera in front of you it doesn't make you qualified to rant about politics. It just doesn't. Maybe Tompkins and Sparks stayed at a Holiday Inn the evening before.

If Rachel Maddow and her producers believe in giving her young show credibility they should learn to stay away from said goofball wanna be political commentators like Hal Sparks. They need to surround themselves more with the likes of Ray J and Kim Kardashian (no reason to get fired up, this is merely a joke... or is it?)

The First Day of Levon.. err, Lent.

2009-02-25T10:05:00.005-05:00

Back when I was a kid I used to be a bit more religious. My mom would make us give up something for Lent, along with not eating meat on Friday. Even when I was nine I thought this was the dumbest thing ever. Why do I need to suffer? Jesus already did that for my sins by having himself nailed to some heavy-ass wood. Did he really respect me more if I gave up no video games for Lent? I would think he would be offended. He would think, "Jesus Christ! I was nailed by my hands and feet and hung from a giant lower-cased, wooden 'T' and this snot-nosed punk is emulating me by turning off his Nintendo. WOW!" Because of this, once I got to high school I just stopped trying. I figured God would want me to be happy. He seems like a good dude.

This year I've decided after over fourteen years I'd give Lent a try again. All for the wrong reasons though. I still don't believe in the fact that God likes us to "suffer." However our priests probably get a kick out of it. No, I'm partaking in Lent this year because I'm up for a good old fashioned challenge. For years I've enjoyed the modern amenities that life has offered to me. In short my life has been good. Two years ago, I got an iPod for my birthday. It changed my life. Who needs a CD anymore? I have 30,000 songs in this little magic box the size of a deck of cards.

Am I giving up my iPod? Absolutely not, don't be silly. I'm giving up something far worse. For the next forty days and forty nights I will be banned from listening to Elton John music. To the average person that's not really a big deal, but to me you might as well cut off one of my life lines. Since 1996, I can honestly, and with a straight-face tell you I've listened to atleast one Elton John song everyday. Thirteen years. Four thousand seven hundred and forty-eight days. That's a lot of Captain Fantastic! Today that all ends. However, not without a few ground rules. I do need to protect myself after all. It wouldn't be fair if there wasn't some mention of "Get Out of Jail Free" cards...

If any Elton John song comes on the radio, an iPod, mixed CD or any other device that is within my power I have ten seconds to change it to a new song.
I am allowed to listen to covers of Elton John songs. "Daniel?" No way. "Daniel" by Fuel? Yes, please. I will be allowed the crappy substitutes.
If I am in a bar, the mall or any other public setting and Elton John comes on the jukebox, loud speaker or anything else where I can not physically shut it off, I am immune from that song. It happens, that's what we call "God's Cruel Joke" and I'm not having any part of it.

It's already started. My eye has been twinging. Usually on the way to Nick's daycare we listen to some "Tiny Dancer" or "Madman" or "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" among others... Today was the first day of different. We listened to The Pretenders and Matchbox 20. Too weird.

Must.... find.... better.... covers..... Will not.... survive. Atleast I didn't give up cheese like my wife. Good luck with that one. Mine as well sign your death notice now.

Hey Sailor, Nice Anchor.

2009-02-21T09:10:00.003-05:00

Be wary of one-day sales at Macy's, men. Be wary. I was perusing the sales rack yesterday evening when a nice young man struck up a conversation with me. "How ya' doing?" he says. I didn't think much of it. "Fine. And you?" I reply back. With no reason to be alarmed I continue flipping discounted clothes on the rack as if they were playing cards. "I'm doing well. Looking for anything in particular?" At this point I thought he was an employee, but the bags from various other stores around his wrist were a clear indication that this man was merely just a civilian. "Nah." I answer back, "just looking." He then asked me "Is that a late present for your Valentine?" referring to the bag I'm holding from Banana Republic. "This? No. This is just a t-shirt." He then explains to me how the bag looked like very nice and that he thought it was holding a gift for someone special. He continued on how he cooked dinner for his Valentine (lasagna by the way) and that he's never cooked before. I reply back, "Wow, well that's very nice." He tells me he's an engineer and that he likes to go overboard and get everything just right. I say "Yeah, my Valentine's Day was low-key. Having a kid under the age of two just kills the romance, ya' know?" He looks at me with that slight deer in the headlights look and says, "You have a kid? Hey man, have a good night."

I guess the dude isn't into other dudes with baggage. I was a little hurt, he had never met my son. He could grow to love him as his own. I can't raise this child on my own! But, in the end it's good to know that after having a baby, men still find me desirable. I still got it, yeah!

This Paisley Little Thing Called Love

2009-02-20T08:39:00.008-05:00

Continuing on in the grand theme of nuclear warheads with brains comes Paisley Love. This bomb doesn't want to melt the flesh from your face, it wants to give you flowers and maybe even spoon in bed. He wants to show you that behind his cold metallic base and greased up gears that he does have a heart... and that it's on a string.

Paisley Love was the second design I had done for the 'Smart Bombs' line. It was originally going to be a different take on the Tin Man from 'The Wizard of Oz.' Depending on how long the line went, my plan was to design one for each of the main characters. After about a day, I deemed that idea to be quite dumb. Seen below was the original chest of Paisley Love before any real design was put into it. Yeah... not too terribly impressive is it?

After taking a step back and looking down (literally) I came up with the idea of adding the Paisley. I had a pair of boxershorts that had a very similar design and color scheme. They were great boxers, I loved them so much I wore out the elastic band on them. What better way to immortalize them than in plastic in the shape of a bomb with robotic claws. Below is the final digital version of Paisley Love. He had eight colors built into him, which in retrospect is a couple too many. It could easily have been knocked down to five or six in a crunch.

Mr. Tinklepaugh is a Ticking Timebomb

2009-02-18T19:02:00.008-05:00

Keeping in theme with yesterday's post, we start today's entry with something in the same vein as Captain Bitchin'. Smart Bombs! Back at the end of 2005, Ken Lilly was making a small movement in the vinyl world with a line called Smart Bombs. In 2006 two sets were released at the San Diego Comic Con (SDCC) that would be followed shortly by the first wave of Smart Bombs. I had designed two that would have been represented in wave one if everything went according to plan. Today we'll be looking at the first design: Mr. Tinklepaugh's Stitches.

Original wrap-around design of Mr. Tinklepaugh's Stitches, 2006

On Super Bowl Sunday 2006 my obesely overweight cat, Mr. Tinklepaugh, thought it would be a good idea to jump the chain link fence in our backyard. Most of him made it to the other side. He hadn't anticipated his gut getting caught on one of the links slicing him open down the middle of his belly. He came home acting totally cool thinking we wouldn't notice his kitty insides dangling like a Christmas ornament from his waddle. That afternoon was spend at the emergency vet waiting for him to get it cleaned up and stitched. He came home that night wearing a lamp shade on his head and a bruised ego on his stomach, otherwise he was alright. Mr. Tinklepaugh, my fat little muse.

Once the design first version of the design was finished and sent off to Ken for approval the next step was to incorporate it into the template. This was for the factory to use for placement around the bomb. This template also housed the very specific colors that were to be used on the design in the upper right hand corner.

Looking at this now, almost three years later I see a lot I would have changed. My main peeve with this is the width of the inking, it's the same throughout. In retrospect I should have added a variant of thicknesses throughout to make it look a bit more hand drawn than just a simple computer stroke. Maybe I'll eventually get to do that, who knows.

Next up... Paisley Love!

Sonuvabitchin'!

2009-02-17T20:19:00.005-05:00

This doesn't really constitute as a 'Vault' since it's not really that old, but it's still really frigging cool. Behold Captain Bitchin'! The Captain was a product of Luke Milton that almost came to be in plastic form a couple years back. The pose would have likely been used as promotional material if we had gotten that far. The entire image is nothing more than a poor attempt at ripping off The Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End theatrical posters.

Captain Bitchin' is what you call a block figure. A glorified Lego man but bigger, badder and hell of a lot more articulation (moving parts for you non-toy geeks). There are over 100 characters in Bitchin's universe ranging from skeleton-less men, cannibalizing 'care bears' and guitar weilding zombies. Yes, it's THAT good. In the coming days (or weeks or months) I'll show some more artwork from the almost was toyline of kockBLOCKerz ranging from logo concepts to some more promotional material.

They say some of the deals you never make are the best ones. With hindsight always being 20/20, making this toyline probably wouldn't have ended nicely especially the way the economy recently shat all over the floor. We all saved some coin and some sleepless nights by quietly exiting out the backstage door. Down the road though who knows. It could work. Maybe even in the vinyl instead of plastic. Arr!

Perfection Shown in Full

2009-01-02T11:30:00.005-05:00

God Bless the MLB Network. Yesterday the channel launched with a Hot Stove Special with Host Harold Reynolds and a smattering of current and former players including Al Leiter and Jimmy Rollins. Meh, whatever, but immediately following that program was really what every Yankee fan was tuning in to see. For one of the first times since October 8, 1956 viewers would be able to watch Don Larsen's perfect game in it's entirety.

From watching the game I noticed a few things: The game in general was much faster. The commercial breaks were much quicker than in today's game. Larsen's perfect game was completed in a shade over two hours. That's gotta be some kind of a record! Also, the game was much closer than what history remembered it to be. The opposing pitcher, Sal Maglie only gave up five hits in eight innings. He also had a perfect game until Mantle's right field home run in the 4th inning. In the end he only gave up two runs. Two runs! That's what we call a gem in today's World Series. Poor Sal, all he is remembered for now is the loser of Game 5 not that he pretty much shut down a lineup that consisted of Mantle, Berra, Bauer and Slaughter. The home plate umpire helped out a lot in this game though. If the ball was remotely close to the outside part of the plate it was a strike. If he was umping in today's game he would've been sent to the minors. Players from both teams, notably Mantle, exchanged words with him on his extra wide strike zone. Mantle then hit that homerun that broke the zip-nada tie. It was in the 6th inning though was where the Yankees did their damage against Maglie and the only slugger it consisted of was Bauer. The rest was all done on the art of small ball. Third baseman Andy Carey hit a single back up the middle (that Maglie almost snagged). Next comes Larsen, who bunts with two strikes, TWO strikes! No one expected it, Larsen almost gets a single out of it and it moved Carey to second. Bauer is up next and hit a single to left field where Brooklyn's Sandy Amoros bobbled the ball enough for Carey to score from second base. And that's your ballgame.

All the commercials from the original broadcast were played. It was pretty hilarious to see Mel Allen stop Casey Stengel (who was talking to Jerry Coleman) in the clubhouse and ask if he would try this new razor. Stengel obliges and states how he can't believe how smooth his face is. At the end they tell you you can change the settings for a boy's face with light facial hair, a man's face with normal facial hair (they show Coleman shaving) and then for a man with heavy hair flow (showing Bauer). It was kind of an odd choice to pick Jerry Coleman and Hank Bauer for the commercial when you had guys like Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Whitey Ford on the team. All three probably said "no way, go find Hank." The prices were quite exquisite in 1956 too, you got the razor and a baseball encyclopedia for $1.

UPDATE: I should have put this in my original post but forgot. In today's game Jason Giambi and David Ortiz usually have to hit into a shift put on by the opposing team's defense. I always thought this was a relatively new thought process. The shortstop, second baseman and first baseman are all on the right side of the field, leaving the third baseman to man the entire left side. In the 1956 World Series Perfect Game, the Dodgers did just that against Mickey Mantle when he was hitting left-handed. Pretty wild to see that on a game almost 52-years-old. I guess it isn't a new practice after all. And no, Mantle didn't hit into the shift. He hit over it, way over it.

Apology and From the Vault #12: Smile!

2008-12-11T11:37:00.008-05:00

Hello Dear Reader, I've abandoned you haven't I? It may feel like it, but I do think of you everyday... almost. This past week I've been on vacation from work. Vacation being coined loosely. The upstairs bathroom is still a work in progress. It's close to done, just some odds and ends that need to be tied up. What a horrible project! It has been doomed from the start. I won't bore you with the bloody details but just know that I am taking a vow of home-remodeling celibacy until we decide to buy a new house. Hopefully that is more sooner than later.
Back in the early 2000's I was asked by a wildlife rehabilitator to do some illustrations for one of her childrens story idea (I know, what is it with rehabbers and kids books!?) She wanted to do a book on a frowning turtle named Smiley. Why was he frowning you may ask? Was it because he wasn't getting any? Was it because his other three brothers were off fighting crime and he was left to clean the sewer lair? No... he lived in squalor, apparently. He wanted a nicer place instead of the glass bowl with poor UVA/UVB lighting. Geez, sounds like my place! Anyway here are some preliminary sketches of Smiley.

For whatever reason I drew his hind legs like he was a fawn - almost Bambi like. I don't know why. Turtle legs aren't really that shape in real life, atleast not the turtles I've seen. Then again, turtles don't really frown either. Artistic license, hooray!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T13:55:00.002-05:00

From the Vault #11: Remember, BBBBBB Yourself

2008-11-26T08:55:00.002-05:00

So last week I showed you the 3-D turnaround of the Letter A for the almost was Sesame Street action figure line. You didn't think I was going to leave you hanging with just one letter did you? Of course not! Shown here is the Letter B rendering from March of 2005. This little guy was originally planned to be packed in with the Two-Headed Monster... makes sense right? "B" being the second letter of the alphabet and all. I have the actual prototypes around in the house that I should probably take a picture of to show you the physical figure. Check back later and it should be added by the evening hours.

From the Vault #10: A Cool Muppet Accessory!

2008-11-25T08:49:00.007-05:00

Ok, so in an earlier post I showed you a rendering of the Letter A from an almost Sesame Street action figure line. Let's switch gears from an almost to a definate. Back in June of 2004 I was contacted to make a sticker for Sam the Eagle's podium. It would be some sort of seal that would be similar to the President of the United States (ie: eagle with the shield, olive branch, etc...) Some screen captures from the Muppet Show of said podium and seal were sent up from Palisades Toys to use as a springboard for the design. There was a catch to this though, it had to be done in vector art (for those that don't know what vector art is, there are two forms of art: vector and raster. Raster is pixel based, ie: Adobe Photoshop, while vector is point based, ie: Adobe Illustrator.) The first step in making a design would be some sort of sketch to layout how it should look, roughly. Below is the sketch of Sam Eagle shown on the podium seal.

Next, we take the sketch and scan it in to the computer and import it right into Illustrator. Now, you're probably wondering why it had to be done in a vector format. The reason behind doing artwork in vector is that it can be blown up to any size imagineable and it will not lose any resolution. The image stays as clean at 10,000% as it does at 50%. It really is a wonderful thing, even though it does take a bit longer to design in. So after a few hours of design work, a bunch of tweaks and helpful (and not so helpful) mistakes we end up with a final product that gets sent down to the toy company for approval. If I remember correctly I was on my honeymoon when this was sent down. I remember hanging out daily in the cruise ship's internet cafe to see if it would ultimately get the thumbs up. It did on what I think was the third or fourth day at sea. It would be inserted into the Sam Eagle variant, aka: Shifty-eyed Sam Eagle, whom was limited to one per box.

And a couple months later the product starts to arrive in stores and you can be proud that you worked on toyline that had genuine cool value to it. I mean really, who doesn't like the Muppets? Communists maybe, and perhaps people who have phobias of singing barnyard animals?
Photo Courtesy: Ken Lilly

From the Vault #9: Larry David

2008-11-21T07:47:00.003-05:00

This Larry David drawing was done in the same vein as the John Lennon one. I did this back in 2003 or so when Curb Your Enthusiasm was really just starting to pick up steam to being a hugely popular show. The colored version of this is lying around here somewhere. I always enjoy the sketch version much more than the final though. With the sketch you get to see all the bones to the drawing. I'm not a big fan of this piece, to me there just doesn't seem to be a whole lot of personality to it. Just kind of boring. In the Lennon piece, his smugness almost seemed to seep out of the paper. Now I'm not saying Lennon was normally a smug person, in fact just the opposite from what I've read and heard. But you could tell at times that he knew how to be a bitch. The Larry David drawing seen above doesn't capture any of that. David is pretty much a self-professed douchebag, and I'm not feeling it. Just a drawing...

Edgar Allen Poe is my Co-Pilot

2008-11-19T16:17:00.005-05:00

There are some things in life that just don't need explaining. For instance: chocolate ice cream, puppies or big, fluffy pillows. You just know their purpose in life, there is no agenda with these things. You don't second guess a puppy, and if you do you really need to talk to someone about all your other issues. Life can't be this simple though. There has to be things that make you scratch your head and make you think, "Why would someone do that? Possibly an imbalance in medication?" A treadmill bike would be one of those things (discussed earlier this month). Earlier today I was at one of the local Albany malls with a friend of mine. We park and the car next to us in the parking lot has this on the dashboard....

Look closely. What is that you may be asking? That my friends is a stuffed crow. A dead bird is mounted on the dashboard of this person's Ford Escape. Who does this? And for that person, why? Seriously, WTF people!? A dead bird! I've always questioned people that would mount Bobbleheads and other oddities to their dashboards but this is on a whole new level of disturbing car flair. Ofcourse, this may not just be a dead bird. This could be a navigation system disguised as a crow. How creepy would that be? "Turn left here, ca caw!, Go straight for 100 meters, Turn right nevermore!"

From the Vault #8: Walter Matthau Watercolor

2008-11-18T08:48:00.004-05:00

Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I am a self-professed Walter Matthau nut. It's true, I had and will always have a soft spot in my heart for old people. Especially slouchy, funny ones. When he died back in 2000 I kind of got on this kick to collect some memorabilia from his movies. I bought a few movies posters, a couple press cards and few autographed 8x10's of him and Jack Lemmon from various movies. I'm mostly proud of the studio movie posters. Two of which I still have hanging in my home: The Odd Couple and The Fortune Cookie (the latter winning him an Academy Award.) Both original and both in really nice shape. I even went as far as to purchase a teacup from his estate sale back in 2001. That's right, a teacup. It's ugly too, and it's got a crack in it. I look at that crack though and think to myself, "He actually took the time to glue this piece back on the cup and keep it." Now I own it and it sits in my living room. It's a god-awful ugly thing too. Something that would totally be in an old person's home.

Enough with traveling down memorabilia lane though... this is about a watercolor piece. This painting I did back in 2001. I'm not exactly sure when in that year though, it was after June because this was done after Jack Lemmon had passed away. Plus, I have the second in a series of two of this painting floating around of Lemmon. The idea was to have the older version of the actor in the front in a monochromatic scheme with the younger side being in black and white in the background. It's funny how this man ALWAYS looked old. Overall I was pretty happy how this turned out. I've never been a very good painter (and never will). The blue is a bit harsh and makes him look more frozen than artistically mellow. I also did a pencil version of Matthau along these same lines, an older and a younger version. We'll see if I can dig that up for a future From the Vault.

From the Vault #7: Jesse Facial Turnaround

2008-11-17T20:56:00.004-05:00

Here is another on Jesse the Special Chameleon. This was a quick turnaround of his face. For whatever reason his smile was always on the side you saw. Weird. Maybe he planned it that way, he is supposedly pretty special. My favorite of these is the one drawn from the back so we can really see some depth to his head crest. Go, go Jesse head crest thingy!

Today's Blog is Sponsored by the Letter A

2008-11-14T08:43:00.002-05:00

This is technically an episode from "From the Vault," but personally for me, it's too cool. Back in 2005, the now defunct Palisades Toys contacted me about making some 3-D turnaround renders of the Sesame Street letters. These action figures would be geared more for adults, or really, really nostalgic kids. This was one line I was really excited to get into. I kind of started with the Muppet line at the tail end of the madness, missing out on a lot of key figures. With the Sesame Street line I was pretty much guaranteed to be working with characters like Cookie Monster, Ernie, Bert, etc... The Letter A was slated to be packaged with Guy Smiley (I think). In the end, only one Sesame Street character saw the light of day and that was Super Grover. The rest of Series 1 made it into production and got to the final stages before Palisades turned out the lights. Ah, what could've been!

The Treadmill for Free-spirits

2008-11-13T10:28:00.008-05:00

Like every morning I start my morning off with a cigarette (no, I don't) and a nice cup of coffee (I don't do this either). But today, I decided to toss in some internet web travel with my breakfast. Boy, did we find a doozie too! You ever find a product so incredibly dumb you think to yourself, "Wow, who made this incredibly dumb product!?" The company aptly named Bicycle Forest takes the prize for this week's "Proprietor Darwin Award." They have created the "Bicycle Treadmill." Hey, feel like running outside but don't feel like actually running on the ground? Try the bicycle treadmill and you can now run on a treadmill with two wheels. Yes, a treadmill with wheels. Just for fun I have attached their marketing video from their website.

Apparently you can bring this treadmill on the bus! Why would you need too though? Can't you just run on it and get to where you have to go? Also, Postal Workers enjoy using this... Not really. They do however enjoy walking along side it and pushing it down the sidewalk with their 50 pounds of mail strapped to their back. Mine as well hit them over the skull with an aluminum bat too. Oh and hey, are you looking to add some "bling, bling" to this "sweet ride?" You are? Well it's your lucky day, an option for the treadmill bike also has deuce extreme spinner rims. "Fo shizzle."

One of their marketing pitches as to WHY you should use the Treadmill Bike is because the ground has dirt on it. Of course it does! That's what ground is made up of. An enormous pile of dirt! In fact that pile of dirt is SO big another relatively large pile of dirt hundreds of thousands of miles away orbits around it! Just don't run on it, your feet might get dirty.

I especially love the guy as he rides by the camera "This is the coolest thing I've ever been on!" As he says it however he almost falls off.... Now that would've been the coolest thing I'd have ever seen. Falling onto the ground made of dirt.

You're also probably wondering... Gnarly trial courses. Can I take it on some gnarly trial courses? Yes you can... but by gnarly we don't mine half pipes and rings of fire. No, no, by gnarly we mean a series of picnic tables stacked together and a piece of wood used as a ramp. Total kickass!

The amazing thing in all this, an American is not too blame for this product! Nope, not even the Asians or Mexicans. Blame Canada! This crackpot idea was hatched somewhere in a hockey rink by a maple syrup sniffing Canuck. Yah, yubetcha!

People, if you want to go for a run, do what everybody else does and get in your car and drive to the gym. Let's keep these ideas in the box, aye? What's next?.....

Umm.... err.... hmmm?

I can't even come up with an idea nearly as dumb as this to make an analogy. Not even close. I thought of swimming without water, weight lifting with spaghetti.... nothing. I've gotta go, somewhere I think I heard a Treadmill Bike getting on a bus.

From the Vault #6: John Lennon

2008-11-12T08:24:00.005-05:00

Here's another blast from the past. This ink/colored pencil combo was done in either late 2004 or early 2005. It was cold out, that's all I really remember. This John Lennon piece was initially done as a test to just hone my skills a little bit more with colored pencil (still my favorite medium besides the computer). It came out pretty good with some obvious tweaks that would need to be made: his wonked glasses, cigarette positioning and his ginormous sausage fingers on his right hand. Overall I do like how the coloration came out on this guy. At one point I wanted to make prints of this to sell but in the end deemed it not strong enough. My problem is I always think to big, not so much in grandiose ideas but more so in size. I planned to do this as a 16x20 inch (or thereabouts). In retrospect these would probably have made pretty kick-ass 5x7 or 5x8's.

Welcome Back

2008-11-10T07:24:00.002-05:00

You know those weeks where it just keeps coming at you? Last week was one of those weeks. Monday and Tuesday were crazy election days, racking up 26 1/2 hours of work ( 16 1/2 on Tuesday) between them. Wednesday was the post-election hangover. The newsroom really did look like a room filled with people nursing bar induced headaches. In a pinch of bliss, I was glad I wasn't the only one feeling that way. Thursday was one of those non-days. The kind where you just kind of walk around and small talk with people about pretty much nothing, "So, did you catch Ghost Hunters last night? I know, crazy right!?" Friday was a glorious half day where I started feeling under the weather as I walked through the front doors to head home. Last but not least, Saturday and Sunday: These days were lost to a nasty virus that infiltrated my system (probably from exhausting myself from the Presidential Election). See, Barack Obama is already up to no good. He already got me sick. He didn't even call to apologize. Sure, Nancy Reagan gets a phone call when he makes fun of her seances, but nooooo let's not call Malette. Way to go Barack. Anyways, this week we should be pretty much back on track, unless I get sick again.

Election Day! aka The Seventh Funnel of Hell

2008-11-04T14:49:00.016-05:00

UPDATE: 11:02pm: Obama takes Florida and California...it's officially President-elect Barack Obama.

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UPDATE: 10:03pm: A little bit of good news for McCain... he's only down 1% in the popular vote. Obama currently leads with 50% while McCain is holding strong with 49%. The old man is almost as cool as Obama. Who would've thought... he can't even lift his arms above his heart. This just goes to show you one glaring flaw in the electoral system. It's a blowout for Obama, who currently leads by over 120 electoral votes, but in actuality McCain is hanging in their in the form of head to head voting.

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UPDATE: 9:28pm: Oy-- Obama is just running away with it. It's currently 175 to 52 electoral votes. Again, atleast Mac said he had a lead. once.

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UPDATE: 8:46pm: Obama just won Pennsylvania... it's pretty much over for McCain now.

And in local news, Kirsten Gillibrand looks to have won NY Congressional District 20 against the very deep pocketed Sandy Treadwell.

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UPDATE: 7:43pm: Hey, here's something... McCain has the lead in electoral votes. Albeit, 8 to 3. Atleast he can't say he wasn't winning at some point.

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UPDATE: 6:50pm: McCain holding his own in Indiana...

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UPDATE: 5:58 pm: Hey there news junkies! Have you always wanted to take a look at what's going on inside the CN9 Media Center but couldn't? Well, now you can! By clicking this link it will bring you directly to our live streaming webcam high above (or 10 feet) above the media center floor. If you look closely an apparition of a lady in white will appear... well, no. That's a lie. I might walk by every now and then though. Riveting!

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UPDATE: 5:02 pm: One hour until Kentucky and Indiana close their polls. Numbers should start coming in shortly thereafter. Kentucky should go to Big Mac and Indiana will probably lean to Obama.

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For the vast majority of the American population Election Day really means one thing: Casting your vote. The people that are really indepth will turn on CNN, MSNBC or another live all-night news program and watch the coverage. Someone has to work those stations right? Right. I'll be giving updates throughout the night until I leave about what's going on behind the scenes in the graphics dept. at CN9. Exciting right? Not unless you're into maps and the occasional running from one control room to the next.

Speaking of control rooms, I think we have a record breaking three control rooms firing off for tonight's coverage. CR-A will be running the state-wide/Capital Tonight coverage (which is the CR I will be primarily working with). CR-B will be running the local Syracuse coverage and our mobile control-room has parked it's ginormous ass into our garage and that will be running the local Albany coverage.

Check back, it'll be a fun night... especially if John McCain decides to make it interesting.

From the Vault #5: Sid and I

2008-11-01T15:40:00.005-04:00

Sorry for the long layover everyone. Between being sick and the Presidential Elections upon us it's been quite a busy and draining week. Anyways, on to more pressing matters: more openage of the vault! Everyone loves a good piece from the vault, and today is no slouch. It's not too incredibly old with it being drawn at the end of 2006. I don't ever remember sketching this... in fact I don't even know what I'm supposed to be holding. Maybe an EMF detector of some kind? Whatever is going on off the picture it definitely has the attention of myself and Sid, my trusty alligator companion. Could it be Mike Bray in the shower? Some scary demon? Keanu Reeves in an acting class?

The more I look at this, the more I wish I finished it. With the flashlight it looks like it would've been an evening or night scene so maybe I got discouraged about trying to get all the shadows and the reflective light correct... who knows?

From the Vault #4: Jesse the Special Chameleon

2008-10-28T08:28:00.003-04:00

It's been a few days since our last look into the vault so it's time to pull something out that isn't from Mike Bray Cartoon. Here's one that I had totally forgotten about until I stumbled on the files earlier this morning. Back at the end of 2002, a friend of mine had asked if I'd be interested in illustrating a kids book he was looking to write about a crippled chameleon. Yes, a crippled chameleon. I agreed because I figured the children's book market couldn't be too saturated with stories about reptiles with three legs named Jesse. Plus it would be good practice for me to stay in the world of drawing. A few months earlier I had started my career in broadcast news, and there really wasn't much room for my type of doodles on boob tube.

We really didn't get too far on the project. I think maybe three pages and the cover was all that got designed. In all honesty, I don't remember ever receiving the story to work from. Oh well, atleast we got this image (and a few others) to show for it. He was kind of cute, even if his stump leg kind of looked like a penis.

The Bathroom in Review: Days 2 and 3

2008-10-27T10:09:00.004-04:00

I must have been high on crack to think I'd have this bathroom done in two days. What in my past history would compel to think otherwise? It's been one mess after another. On Saturday I went back to Lowes, got a new tub faucet and a grab bag o' replacement parts. Five hours later my father and I finally figured out how to actually get the water to turn off in the tub. We were going off the pieces from the previous faucet and went from there. Big mistake. The previous tenants I'm convinced were borderline retarded. They were the ultimate anti-McGyver of home repairs. I say anti because McGyver was cool and could blow shit up on purpose with toothpaste. These people, they wouldn't blow it up right away and not on purpose. They would just leave a ticking time bomb at the scene of the crime in the form of faulty wiring or loose pipes and wait for it to explode five years later.

Other than fixing some of their dumb problems and getting some beadboard on the wall, not much got done. In about 11 hours of work, I literally had nothing to show for it. Went to a get-together at my cousin's house that night, got accidentally drunk and spent the night on his futon. By "accidental" I mean I was drinking something that I had no idea what was in it. I could taste a hint of cranberry juice and not much else. Apparently a 12-pack of beer and a bottle of vodka were also among the list of ingredients. Needless to say, Sunday renovations were slow, and even slower when I broke my miter saw.

Megan and the baby came home at 4:30pm on Sunday to no sink, no vanity, no toilet, no painted walls, no moulding, and half of the beadboard. Yeah, when this bathroom is finished sometime in 2011 I want to sell this house. I want to rid myself of this curse and move into a home that has standard measurements, and actual blueprints, and level walls and floors. It's not that much too ask for. I'll even go so far to say that I'd move into a townhouse if it was nice enough (many townhouses in the Albany area are stuck in the dirty 80's). I'd also even move further out of the metropolitan area to get more bang for my ever declining buck. The country is nice, right? I always pictured the country to look like the movie "Funny Farm." That's probably the expensive rural areas... the normal countryside is covered in seas of corn, 1992 Ford trucks, tobacco stains and John Deere hats.

Anyone have a house they are selling with my requirements? I want to know.

The Bathroom in Review: Day One

2008-10-25T07:16:00.004-04:00

This weekend I have the honored privilege of renovating our upstairs bathroom. There really isn't much too it. It's a small room with some extreme eves on each end. The demo was completed last night, but not without casualties. Just when you think you have the water off, the water likes to remind you that is not the case. The tub did not have a shutoff and for whatever reason I turned the sink valves all the way to the wrong end (full blast for you rookies). Let's just say the bathroom got a shower where only a tub is available. Keep in mind that this bathroom is on the second floor, so my living room ceiling now looks like it shit itself with water stains. After that, backup was called and my father had to come over to help me with the bathtub. Three hours later and a trip to Lowe's we discovered that the bathtub nozzle is shot.

That's what was accomplished for the first day... Demo and a water fight. Day two better go better or I'll be having myself a minor breakdown. Day two will also include a trip to Target to purchase a bunch of new towels. Hey, I had to wipe the wet floor up with something and towels of the paper variety were not an option this time around.

Oh, and I currently smell like a foot. With the main water shut off I can't shower, brush my teeth, or turn my sink on full blast and run out into the street yelling "Water, weeee!!" It's a travesty.

From the Vault #3: Darth Wolicki

2008-10-23T21:07:00.004-04:00

Here is the third of three panels in the Bray Wars saga. My friend Mark from college was the lucky one to modeled after the top villian of all time, Darth Vader. Out of the three pieces, this one was the least enjoyable to do, no offense Mark. There is too much black for my taste. One does need a splash of color after all, right? Besides, he's wearing a mask, all facial expressions are null and void, and that's no fun!

From the Vault #2: Bray Yoda

2008-10-22T08:46:00.007-04:00

Here is the second of three panels of the Star Wars parody: Bray Wars. This one features, the man himself Mike Bray as the wise yet freakishly small Yoda.

McDonald... I'm Lovin' it!

2008-10-21T21:10:00.006-04:00

Over the past four days I've been out and about at various eateries and retail stores and there has been something hauntingly familiar at every single place. No, not the guy with the mullet in the old, rusted out Ford Bronco... something much worse. Michael McDonald has been playing over the speakers of such establishments at every... single... place. What's with Michael McDonald cornering the Muzak market? Here's the scary part, I knew all the words to the songs that were being played. I don't even listen to Michael McDonald! How long has he been hogging the mall airwaves? How have I not noticed? Subconsciencely he's invaded my brain with his soothing and upbeat lyrics and I can't turn it away. I enjoy it, walking with that extra bounce in my step and snapping my fingers like a West Side Story greaser extra. I even start murmuring "Takin' it to the streets, takin' it to the streets... Take this message to my brother, something, something, something, Wherever people live together... Takin' it to the streets...." It's awful! But so freaking catchy! Damn you Michael McDonald! First you hate him, but then like a little puppy he slowly works at you- nuzzles you, licks your nose with his little tongue and before you know it he's sleeping in your bed and drinking out of your toilet. The problem is you don't even care, because by this point you're in love with Michael McDonald and you let him do whatever he damn well feels like because he sings "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" like you wish you could. I admit it, I love Michael McDonald! Eddie Money is a close second though-- but he isn't nearly as adorable. That's more of a pity play than anything else. Two Tickets to Paradise? Umm... you go, I'll catch up.

Michael McDonald rocking it out!

From the Vault #1: Bray Wars

2008-10-21T08:39:00.008-04:00

The main piece to "Bray Wars" was made way back in May of 2002. It depicts the original characters from Mike Bray Cartoon. For those of you that don't know, Mike Bray is a friend of mine that I went to college with. He is one of those guys that is very gullible, very naive, but would jump in front of a bullet for you to save your life. He'd also remind you of it every day after, "Hey Buddy, remember the time when I used myself as a human shield?" From left to right: Me, Bill Rush, Mike Bray as Yoda's hologram, Nick Giarrusso, Kim Brisson, Tony Vadala, Sid the alligator and Matt Langley as 3PO. This was done originally as a three panel piece, Mike as Yoda on Dagobah and Darth Wolicki are the others. Those will show up on here pretty soon.

Not Those Ducks Again!

2008-10-17T18:44:00.004-04:00

So I'm starting to think I go to Target pretty much everyday now. This time I was looking for Diaper Genie refills for the baby's poopie diapers. This is what I've been degraded too: Bag o' Poop bag refills... it really is an extraordinary life. Well wouldn't you know that the Diaper Genies (and their refills) are in the same aisle as those god damn rubber duckies that I harped on about earlier this week. The ducks couldn't leave well enough alone however. They have concocted a new way for you to give them more of your hard-earned money. They now come in the lovely shade of pink with a the witty slogan "Don't Duck a Breast Exam." Everywhere I go now the same item comes in a shade of pink and the proceeds benefit breast cancer research.

Hey that's cool, don't think I hate breasts. I don't. I'm a huge proponent of the "Save the Ta-Ta's" initiative, but rubber duckies? They're the first thing I think of when breast cancer comes to mind. With our luck blue duckies will be out shortly with the the catchphrase "Don't Duck a Nut Exam." or "Mallards Like Healthy Balls Too." The possibilities are endless.

...and yes, the pink, baseball wearing duckies can be find right next to the Pirate Duckies. Yar!

How a Dinosaur is Made

2008-10-16T07:54:00.011-04:00

Here is a quick and dirty artist history of the Tyrannosaur for the A-Z book. First it starts with a simple sketch. Well, not simple. There are usually a few sketches done before I can nail down the facial expression, body positioning, etc... all into one drawing. With the T-rex, for whatever reason he was drawn at the bottom of a page and by the time I got to his belly there wasn't any room left. So technically this guy has the distinct honor of being two sketches grafted into one. Lucky little tea sipper!Next, the sketch is scanned andc the image is imported into Adobe Illustrator. A lot of artists like to do this with actual pen/brush and ink, but not me. From previous entries you've seen first hand what I do to a nice looking drawing with ink. It looks like an 5-year-old in the backseat of a moving car did it. With Illustrator it takes a bit more time but I have the flexibility of moving lines and changing their widths.

Once the vector line-art is done it is then imported into Photoshop and the color is added. The basic T-rex skin tone (in this case: Salmon) is added beneath the line-art. From there a couple more layers are added on to it, a shading layer and a hightlight layer. This process is the most tedious because light hits each part of the body in different ways. To emphasize that each part of the body has to get masked off so it doesn't receive shading where a highlight should be and vice versa.

One of the nice things about working with Photoshop is the great amount of detail you can fit in. Most of which you wouldn't really see when it goes to print anyways. It just gives me greater flexibility if it had to get made in a large format down the road.

When it's all done we now have a colored dinosaur to be placed into it's natural habitat... a little girl's bedroom where it will be attending a tea party. There is no text added to this page, just the final layout for the imagery. The fonts will be added in post when everything else is done. Maybe someday I'll actually show you another dinosaur besides the T-rex, or other art for that matter. Sometime soon, I will go into the vault and pull out some old treasures and show them off. Would you kids like that?

Where Have You Gone, Rubber Duckie?

2008-10-14T17:15:00.007-04:00

The bathroom is no longer a safe haven in our home for those who seek refuge from a toy-free toilet. Our son now finds it hysterical to throw things in the commode. It's not just limited to his small toys either... shoes, batteries and sometimes even his own hands are the targets of these outrageous acts of unadulterated toilet tomfoolery.

To counteract his exploits we found it in our best interests to finally install locks on our two toilets (this will not come in handy if their is a #1 or #2 emergency, by the way). Me wanting to be the hero, declared, I would travel to the local Target and purchase these so called toilet locks. While I was strolling through the baby aisle I noticed the large masses of rubber duckies that they had for sale for babies. Not just your standard run of the mill duckies either. Fire ducks, ballerina ducks, police ducks, and even vampire and witch ducks. Within the depths of all these career seeking duckies there was one that just seemed a bit odd, a bit not like the others. There it was, the worst rubber duckie known to mankind... a half-duck half-dairy cow. Really? Really? Who does this?

Listen, I get it. People like rubber duckies and apparently they like a duck in uniform even more. But where does Munchkin (the maker of such ducks) have the audacity to take a dairy cow and say "Hey, let's mash it together with an innocent little duckie and mass produce it to scare off little kids!" The duck has ears for Christ sakes! The platypus doesn't even have ears like that, and they're like the ultimate WTF species of the Earth! To make matters worse they gave this poor excuse for a rubber duckie some sort of bondage choke collar. Must have been some sort of sadist working in Munchkin sculpting department again. What's next? A rubber duckie with a ----- molded to it's forehead? It's a family favorite! That's disgusting.

I urge all parent's to boycott this Chupacapra-esque duckie and send a message to Munchkin: We aren't going to take these half-assed excuses for rubber duckies anymore! We want real rubber duckies like, Hobo duck or Abusive Husband duck. You know, something that really hits home for the kids. Something that they have a real shot at becoming... what kid ever dreams of being a dairy cow? No normal ones anyways. Probably kids that drank way too much whole milk.

Officer O'Duckie arrest this bovine duckie right now! Someone has to clean up those pegs and it mine as well be the peking police. Or someone much worse. Someone much more terrifying. Someone that flaps in the night... Yes, dare I say? Darkwing Duck!

Oh, and if you're wondering, don't go to Target for toilet locks, they don't carry them... neither does Walmart. Babies 'r us had like one model... who knew toilet locks were such a taboo item.

Playing For Tomorrow

2008-10-13T23:23:00.004-04:00

Hello fine reader, sorry for the lack of posts over the last few days. The weekend was chockful of weekend goodness: an amusement park, the baby re-enacting "The Exorcist," and a late night trip to Target (and that was only Saturday!)

Tomorrow we will return to our regularly scheduled blog duties. We had a doubleheader in softball tonight with a combined run total of 54! I'm a bit tired to really jabber on about a very disturbing item I saw at Target or show you some neato Progession shots of that T-Rex blowing on his tea. If you're good, you may get both nuggets in a Two-fer Tuesday.

Just because I like you, here's a picture of a cute little kitty to hold you vultures over 'til tomorrow.

See ya tomorrow!

Big, But Not So Bad

2008-10-10T20:22:00.002-04:00

A couple days ago I posted an image of the first watercolor I had done in nearly a decade. Here is that same T-rex but done in ink. It has probably been closer to ten years since I've done anything with brush and ink, and when I had it was pretty bad then too. I just never had a steady enough hand for it. That's why Photoshop, Illustrator, etc... have really become such a huge crutch for me. They come with a "History" window. If Strathmore wants to corner the market in paper maybe they should invent one of those. Eh, Strathmore? You hear me? Get on it, you'll make a bundle! You may want to cash those checks in Euros though. The American dollar is officially about as valuable as toilet paper.

Sleep Away Those Sunday Blues

2008-10-09T21:27:00.003-04:00

Hello Friends! Remember when you were a teenager and you would go to the video store (yes, an actual VHS video store) and rent old, cheesy horror films with your friends? The kind of horror film where the plot was so off the wall, and the effects looked like they were made straight from an Easy Bake Oven? Well I was getting my hair cut tonight (nice segueway, eh?) and the gal "stylizing" my hair, Dana, was harping on me to see Hostel (her and I chat about such things as transgenders, catpeople and gypsies so this wasn't too far off a normal conversation for us). She proceeds to tell me how Hostel is a pyschological thriller and it's off the hook crazy, blah blah blah... If you've seen Hostel you already know all about it. If you haven't you're thinking to yourself right now "Maybe I should check it out, this hair stylist seems to know her shit." I finally cave and tell her that the next time I come back (three weeks) I will have seen Hostel, but under one stipulation. She must see Sleepaway Camp. Hell yes, Sleepaway Camp. She's intruiged. "Sleepaway Camp?" she says? "Sleepaway Camp," I reply.

Without giving away too much, Sleepaway Camp is a pretty standard run-of-the-mill horror films from the early to mid' 1980s. Angela, a pretty awkward teen is sent to a summer camp where she promptly met by a slew of asshole kids and counselors. One by one she starts picking them off using various methods throughout the movie. Pretty boring and done a million times before? Right? Wrong! Sleepaway Camp has one of the ultimate twist endings in horror history. It takes the "Holy Shit, he's a ghost!" right out of Bruce Willis really being a god damn ghost in The Sixth Sense.

This ending traumatizes me to this day. Ofcourse the setting that I watched it in was pretty intense too. Back in the summer of 1997 my friends and I rented this movie from the local Video King. We brought it back to my house to enjoy and get a few laughs out of (we got more than a few, by the way). It was late when it started, probably around midnight or so. By the time it was over we weren't laughing and if I recall correctly we all had the look as if we just saw old people having sex for the first time. The mouth dangling, and the eyes bulged. After sobering up from the film I have to take my buddies, Clint and Jared home. Where I lived at the time backed up to a very deep unmowed field which was then followed by woods. The fog had settled in and sat comfortably and eerily on top of the long weeds by my home. That's seriously creepy to begin with, but to finish watching this film and then see that? Aw hell no! We ran to my car and pulled away like we had just seen a homeless bum asking to wash our windshield. It was seriously not cool, but in the end we now looked at ourselved as men, not boys. That movie made us grow up overnight and look life in it's eyes. It's cold, lifeless eyes.

If you've seen it Kudos to you. You are an awesome reader, and an even awesomer movie fan. If you haven't, do it, and do it now! Be like Dana, my hair stylist, and go out and hunt it down. It exists on DVD so there are no excuses like: "my VCR totally blows, it eats tapes." Go see it, enjoy it, be scarred like the rest of us, and then come back here and tell me "Oh my god! You were so right about that ending! Crazy shit! How can I ever repay you?" This is how you can repay me: Tell others of this movie and spread the word of it's campy goodness. You and your friends will be better people for it. And you will receive true enlightenment. Well that's not really true, but you're friends will appreciate you more.

Enjoy the flick!

Honing Some Old Skills

2008-10-08T21:30:00.006-04:00

It's been a looong time since I've done watercolor or inking of any kind. Probably in the neighborhood of eight years or so. A couple weeks ago I decided to start practicing again. Man is it tough to get back on the wagon! Photoshop let's you go through your history and "start over." This is not nearly as forgiving. It's going to take awhile but here is my first attempt at watercolor. It's of a not so bad-ass T-Rex. This guy was originally done in Photoshop attending a tea party for a children's book I was (am) working on. Sometime in the near future I'll post that finished illustration.

The Evil Empire's Top 500 Movies.... Ever.

2008-10-07T21:16:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I came across one of the most ridiculous top movie lists that's ever been compiled. It really looked like they took a 65 year-old french movie reviewer and a 19 year-old college kid put them in an empty room with a pad of paper and two pens and said "Have at it!" I say two pens and not pencils because with a pencil you can erase your mistakes. That was clearly not the case with this list. If they had the option of deletion they surely would've tossed out Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (among others) from this utterly awful list. Below is a short, compiled list of movies with their spot on the hall of shame. Greatest ever? Hardly.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (475)
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (453)
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (449)
Big Trouble In Little China (430)
Zelig (408)
Cloverfield (394)
Election (389)
Hott Fuzz (374)
300 (337)
Out Of Sight (326)
Transformers (307)
The Godfather Part III (282)
Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (271)

Now before you get your panties in a bunch. I own most of these movies seen above on DVD. I really enjoyed these flicks. But Top 500? I'll touch the bases on a few of these fine films.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: The movie that was made for the sole purpose of getting you to the second PotC sequel (oh, and to make some money for the ole' mouse ears). This movie was a fun flick in spots but mainly just wandered around on a deserted island for it's duration.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: C'mon, really? This movie is eerily similar to a high school boy's first sexual experience. It starts out awesome, but quickly goes south and it ends in disappointment and depression.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace: If this movie didn't say "Star Wars" in the title it would not have made the list. Case closed. Yoda himself couldn't put lipstick on this pig.

Hott Fuzz: Here's the problem. I love this movie. This is a great comedy, buddy-buddy, action flick.... but top 500? Nope. "Shaun of the Dead" I'll give you but not "Hott Fuzz."

The Godfather Part III: (See Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and replace the words "Star Wars" with "The Godfather.")

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure: Funny film about a man-child in a women's makeup looking for his bike in the basement of the Alamo. Oh yeah, and the root of all my childhood nightmares was in this movie: Large Marge. I hate that bitch, she had it coming to her.

In the end I get it that people have different tastes. In the the long line of trash that we have been exposed to over the years maybe our standards have dropped. Or maybe Empire Magazine should give their writers delete buttons on their keyboards. Here is a quick list of movies off the top of my head that did NOT make the list. It's time Empire Magazine goes back to the grindstone with an amended version of the list.

Fantasia (1940)
The Muppet Movie (1979)
Superman II (1981)
National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Awakenings (1990)
Philadelphia (1993)
Apollo 13 (1995)
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
The Iron Giant (1999)
A Beautiful Mind (2002)
Million Dollar Baby (2004)

Million Dollar Baby you say!? Surely it can't be! Ohhhh, it can be! The horror! Most of these would fit comfortably in the 500-350 range, but Million Dollar Baby? According to imdb.com's Top #250 it sits at #135.

Flame on!

Welcome Aboard Mates!

2008-10-06T23:12:00.000-04:00

Everyone else was doing it so why not, right? This is the first in hopefully a long line of blogs I will be posting here. People always say to me "Hey, you're cool. We want to read about your life, maybe you should start one of those internet blog things." And I say, "You know, you're right. Maybe I will!" ...well, that's what I envision they'd say if I ever left my home and spoke to people. So feel welcome, get quasi-cozy and check back often.

Earlier today I noticed that "Empire Magazine" printed the "500 Greatest Films of All Time." Interesting concept. Five-hundred, that's a lot. Wait to you see their choices. I'm sure I'll be ranting about that real soon... like tomorrow. If you want a head start the link can be found here. Please, make sure you have a garbage can real close to your computer as it may induce vomiting or dry heaving. This list proves that even 19-year-old janitorial interns can be dubbed "key film critics." There is hope for all of us!